M.V.P. day, not the M.V.P.A. day

Hello friends! We have returned from a trip to the fabulous Jersey shore.  

Which is apparently what one does during the summer months on the east coast. Assimilation complete. We went with some seriously awesome people.  

 

(Yes, that is us standing in front of the letters. )

Which made the trip seriously awesome. But East coasters will never understand a Midwesterners distrust of the ocean.  

Seriously. 

The Notorious tried to explain, it’s not a lake, a creek or a crick. And the water’s not green enough. You feel me Hoosiers?  

We returned to the Villa in South Philla (a boozy gem from the trip) on Saturday. And would you believe nothing had changed. WTF. Why don’t things get done in our absence? I thought surely if they don't get done in our presence....

I did finish the floors before vacating for the vacation. Get ready for my fancy aerial shot.

I think they turned out well. I had originally intended to complete 3 rows but, well, I just didn’t want to.

 

I am glad I left the creepy pictures on the wall. Given they are the only decorations on the wall. Me + Plaster + Drill = Fail.  

We condensed the livitchen to make better use of the room. I have actually sat down here and ate, read, composed this very blog post, etc.  

 

I have no idea how both of the next pics are of the same room. One makes it look super short and the other more accurately represents how loooong the house really is. (Ok, I do have an idea of how this effect is effected, but still I marvel).  

 

Since being back, big, big, news. I’m in love. I’m in love. And I don’t care who knows it.  

I LUV THE HEAT GUN. I am prepared to say it is the most awesome tool ever. Removing paint is soooo much better than applying paint. 

Well, when you’re packing a heat gun. 

Is like a ray gun. 

If I were in space, it would totally be my weapon of choice. 

Well, space in the future of course.  

It’s a Wagner. Each time I see its’ name on the side I think it reads “Danger”, not "Wagner". And really, it should.

I’m working on de-redding the stairs.

 

We’ll be lucky to make it out of this without me starting a fire. I finished for the day and my face is hot and smells of burnt paint. 

I did watch an e-how video before starting. The gentlemen noted the heat gun’s similarity in shape to a hair dryer. He explicitly warned against using it as a hair dryer tho. God bless the Internet, right? That could have been embarrassing.  

I only got to the landing and the first step. 

 

 Angry red paint is angry.  


*Sorry if my pictures are all super flash-y. The Notorious fancied up the camera settings over the trip. He’s all “aperture” and "other fancy camera words". Despite spending several years developing actual software, used TO FLY AIRPLANES, I cannot de-Notorious the camera. Auto was my only move. Look what the fancy did to my beloved heat gun.  

While I appreciate the suggestion of an impending blast off, the heat gun commands respect. 

I even considered composing a haiku about/for the HG. I kept repeating "I love you heat gun" in my head. Then I realized it was a 5-syllable repeat. Now that I've stepped away, I realize I should have protected myself better from the fumes. But at least no fire. Super bonus given I just ordered smoke detectors from Amazon yesterday. Don't tell my Mom.



But should she find out. Mom, we do have the fire ladder you so kindly purchased for us.



Don't tell her I sold it to buy the smoke detectors. 

Ah, I jest.



e.

Up day/ Down day

So, they say there’s an upside to everything. Seems to mean there’s also a downside to everything. I’ve really been playing the spread this week.  
The past two weeks I’ve had two 3-day stretches off from work. The only upside to being a nurse. So, I’ve been working on house stuff alone. Sometimes it’s really nice to work alone.  

I can listen to whatever I want on Pandora. So I listen to pop music. Really loudly. Don’t tell the Notorious but right now my station is set to Ashlee Simpson. It’s awful and wonderful. Upside.  

But then stupid Pandora thinks I’ve stopped listening and stops. Sans Notorious I can’t bring myself to trudge upstairs each time so the house falls silent. Surprisingly silent. Downside. Today the dryer buzzer went off 11 times. Like consecutively. That got me to trudge downstairs thinking there was surely some kind of laundry emergency. The emergency was dry towels.  

I finished off the living room walls. And I made the executive decision to leave this gem intact for now. Upside.  

 

And then there’s the floors. I was all gung ho to start over the weekend. And then I fell in a hole.

 

 Not this one. She drops her toys thru to the basement and then stares at them. I just think it’s cute.  

This nasty one.  

 

Right leg in the basement, rest of my body upstairs. Thankfully. The saw is there in the pics b/c Notorious was bringin’ the fix.

The holes have been there since move in, covered in some manner. Me falling thru really lit the fire. And yes, my leg really hurts. I had just switched from shorts to pants when I dropped. Thankfully.  

I have started now tho.  

So, if you recall the previous post….  

…I think I’m well on my way.  

I would however totally trade my cats for the ones in the above pic. Mine “help” by sitting right where I’m trying to work, batting my supplies around, and shedding at will on wet paint.

 

It’s a shocking amount of work to do alone. And crazy physically abusive. Like everything hurts. Downside. Granted the hole incident meant I was starting physically, well, in the hole.  

Hands on hardwood also means I compressed my ulnar nerve in my left palm. My pinky and ring finger are all numb and tingly. Plus, I can’t bring all of my fingers together. I can make a fist but I can’t cup my hand. Imagine being in the shower, shaking down your shampoo, making a little cup out of your left hand to squeeze into and then the shampoo running right out between your last two fingers cuz they’re not touching the others. Downside. Serious downside if it doesn't resolve. 


Man. I really miss my main squeeze. For all of the reasons above, but most of all b/c what the eff is the deal with square pencils? They’re so impractical. First off, they’re square. And second, being square they are really hard to sharpen. You have to use a knife. And I really can’t take any more injury this week. 

A meek left-handed wave and I limp away, 
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TRuesday

The Finisher is BACK IN ACTION.  

Down but not out bitches. Down but not out. I’ve been slow playing my awesome abilities waiting for the Notorious to finish the bathroom. But lately comrades, I’ve had to face some hard truths.  

Truth #1  
I cannot take it anymore.  

Truth #2
I suck at all things home improvement.  

BUT, I am in some ultraparadoxical home-iverse where I cannot make things worse. Complete lack of skill completely doesn’t matter. Anything I do will be an improvement. It’s freeing.  

  

And “suck” might be a little harsh. I just know practically nothing. Today I received a chastising for not oiling a spackle knife after using it. Plus, I just had to use Google to find out it’s called a “spackle knife”.  

 

And “chastising” might be harsh, he might have just told me that’s what you’re supposed to do.   

Truth #3  

If you've ever wondered aloud “is there anything sadder than a wall requiring two coats of primer”, there is.  


So, I’ve begun making the living room livable. Current state (tho I do weight the scales with the absolute worst of the worst pics) shown above. I’m scraping, spackling, priming and painting. It’s an interim solution. But the super awesome thing about interim is that you get to decorate twice.  

Ultimate plan is we start with something like this:  

And eventually have something like this:
 

Interim also means I get to paint the floors! Which I am super hype about. And, just as dream killer Notorious was bursting my floor-painting bubble with warnings of cat fur I found the picture above. Two cats. And a design I will totally copy. In your face Notorious. Should’ve taken aim at the fact that I have zero artistic talent to ever free hand even the stencil. 

But I can free hand this...

 

Work Day

So, I am at work. Abusing Internet Policy. But I am sooo excited I just have to post about it. No pics tho. (see above re: at work)

The Notorious said the bathroom would be done today. On Saturday, he said Sunday. He said it. He said it. He said it.

He lied, but still am working with a new home renovation philosophy - the power of positive thinking. It's like that book "The Secret" (that I totally did not read) but with home improvement. Everyone collectively beam your thoughts to the Notorious...tee hee...the power of positive sinking.

e.

Vacation Day

So. Where have you been? No seriously. It’s been weeks. Where have you been? This is totally on you. Not us….  

We (meaning me) took an intentional hiatus from posting. Mostly to reflect the hiatus that’s been taken on doing. We (meaning the Notorious) hasn’t been without productivity. It’s just been consumed with totally boring things like getting quotes on stucco repair. 

Before indoor renovations can advance, outdoor “tightness” must be achieved.

I know, right? Can you think of anything more boring than stucco? Welcome to my world, where we talk about it. A lot. Getting quotes means we invite multiple different people over to talk about it with us in person. At length. After we’ve already talked about it – at length – over the telephone.  

I get it though. The kitchen wall (opposite the sucko) has been leaking, like, forever. 

 

 In the world according to P-Ho, it’s nothing a little duct tape won’t fix. Emphasis on the “little”.

Chalk me up as a p-Ho supporter on this ‘un. Stucco is crazy expensive. Like windows but even less fun to select/purchase (which we did). This is the side of our house people. It’s like pedicures in the winter. I say… 


* Gets up, walks around, stretches *  

Woo. Gotta shake it off. Was getting sucked into the stucco hole. Is what I imagine being beset upon by a Dementor is like. Well, if they were real.  

The stucco hole is real.  

Speaking of Harry Potter. We also took a for-reals hiatus to sunny Florida. I would mention something about how stinking hot FLA is if it weren’t for the fact that Philly has been 100+ for days. And as of yesterday, the AC in my car is not working. I had a meltdown (both literally and figuratively) on the road. If you’re uncomfortable in your home, can you imagine the tragedy of now being uncomfortable in your car as well? The Notorious tried to talk me down with kindness and reason. I told him, and I quote, “You’re attempts to placate me only make me more angry.” Wasn’t very nice. I was mad with heat.  

Back to FLA. So, we have been O.O.T. for a bit. Went to hang out with the fam. Was a much needed break from the oppression of home.  

Speaking of the oppression of home. Here’s the latest pics of the bathroom.  

Notorious and Tattoo put in a new window and started to finish the walls. Which circles back to “tightness”. We got a formidable amount of rain in Philly. The new ceiling got wet along the tape lines. We knew it was coming, but now we need to get roof quotes as well.

* Sad face *  

I know there was much hype about The Finisher. But I’m on hiatus on account of a broken spirit. Really it was one of those title only positions anyway. I’ve dedicated my time to much more advantageous goings-on. Just today I have entered:  

• DIY Network’s Worst Kitchen in America Sweepstakes  
• Dwell Magazine’s “Room for Improvement” Living Room Sweepstakes  
• This Old House “Outdoor Oasis” Sweepstakes
• HGTV’s “Fix and Flip” 150K Complete Home Makeover Contest  

Am pretty sure that last one is a scam. Lot of links followed. Lot of windows opened. Desperate times. Desperate measures. 

xoxo
The Finisher
Sah-weep-stakes E.

Slow News Day

Sorry to report, but the updates have been scarce as of late. We are lackluster home owners. Only surpassed in our failure as home owners by our failure as home renovators.

We have been pricing window replacements.

 

We have 18 to 19 windows in total. For sure, 15 to 16 need replaced.

Of the total, 18 to 19 windows in the house...

2 Won’t open at all

Of the windows that do open…    

4 actually have a screen and can be left open

11 Stay open without intervention (tho open w/o a screen = ghost Bubbs) 

Conversely - those that open but will not stay open

 

 And my personal fave, the window that won't close.

Often it seems a window was purchased and made to fit an entirely different, non-fitting window opening by using a bunch of junk to wedge.

Admittedly trashy, but overall a can-do attitude to home renovation I can actually appreciate. Done is done people.

Anyone wondering how the total no. of windows can be a range? I mean, we either have 18 OR 19 windows, right? Recall the whack brick wall erected over ½ the patio door.
 

Think about it. A person that would do something that weird doesn't stop there. The inappropriate covering of natural lite sources would extend thru the home. 

Tho qualifying as weird, ignore the cat. This single window is in fact a double. A side-by-side made into an off-center side-by-hide. You can make out the outline of what once was. From the outside, what was once window is covered by siding. 

At least P-HO allowed for some variety in her materials choices. 

So, our current 18 windows will be returned to the original 19. Kind of. Lots of the windows have been altered throughout the years. What were once giant windows are now normal to smallish sized. We’ve had two companies out for quotes and a third coming tomorrow. I’ve quickly learned that giant windows equals giant prices. I consider myself to be a reasonable person. My windows need not be giant but they do need to open, stay open and then close again. In South Philly, this makes me an elitist.

e.