Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Day Swede

Dear Previous Homeowner:

Eff you. Eff you and the bags of trash you left for us to take out. The bags of trash that when removed to the curb left behind a trail of oats and crab legs. For this, the Notorious has torn out your blue bathroom. Because that is what it makes us. Blue.

And eff you for putting drop ceilings in a bathroom. The Notorious handily dismissed them and uncovered nearly 12 in of more space.

For this, we are going to replace your blue bathroom with items from the brilliant Swedes.

Oh, Ikea, how do I love thee? You are a shining beacon of light in a home made dark from inappropriate paint color choices. Yeah, you hear that Previous Homeowner, HoPiKi (hot pink kitchen) is next.

With contempt,
e. and the Notorious

For any astute viewers, you may notice the masks we are forced to wear.

It's the mask OR Legionnaires' disease. Or Black Lung. For my nursing homeys, you recognize the N95 droplet precautions mask right away. You recognize and cringe. Feel me sisters - I'm wearing it for like 8hrs. They should call it the N67 for the awkward 2/3 of your face that sweats while you wear it.

The fridge detail is nearing completion. We replaced the doors today. After approximately 4 seconds of being closed and then re-opened, it stunk. Not original power stink but a pronounced wafting of chemical cleaners and seafood. Which I can only assume now to be crab. So very disappointing. We even flipped the fridge doors opening from Left to Right just to further ourselves even more from what once was. The Notorious, who was super impressed with the engineering feat that is easily switchable left-right door opening, remarked, "I Frigidaire you to be more genius than them." Though clever enough that I care to repeat it here, he couldn't see that I wasn't smiling behind my respiratory isolation mask....this whole refrigerator business has left me cold.

Bathroom re-do this weekend. Should be ridiculous.

No comments:

Post a Comment