Tuesday, April 6, 2010


Bathroom is wired for electricity. Not actual light, yet. But electricity people! We are light adjacent.

 Hurrah! Progress!

And on this day that there was the possibility of light, I said let there be gorgeous hardwood floors underneath the crappy shantytown floors, and there were crappy subfloors underneath our crappy shantytown floors.

You know you hear about people who uncover “gorgeous hardwoods” under their shag carpeting. I think it’s an urban, home renovation legend. Either way, we have to re-do much of the floors. As in, put in new sub-flooring and then do the floor-floors. The wood is shot with lots of holes, which brings the next installment of…

Dear Previous Homeowner,

While we applaud your recycling efforts, CAN we really take this effort at being green seriously?

Personally, we’ve been looking in to sustainable flooring options, but Previous HO, we CAN certainly sympathize with the cost deterrent to going green. At this point, we should just invest in re-shaping the house to resemble a pipe organ. Because if you CAN do this, we CAN be organ-ic with that.

With continued disdain,

e. and the Notorious

Remember the other day when I was all like “I heart Ikea”? Now I’m all like “Ikea friend or fjoe?” Why have you fjorsaken me? Fjirst, you sold me something you don’t actually have. After the very lackluster Carol of baths assured me that it was in stock. Then you made me wait in your ridiculous return line to return the item you sold me that you do not have. And then Ikea, you couldn’t fjurnish me with a delicious 110-calorie non-fat frozen yogurt cone for one dollar (!) b/c your machine was “broken”. The same delicious 110-calorie non-fat frozen yogurt cone the Notorious and I always get when we visit. To shame Ikea. To shame. Fjix your yogurt machine and maybe you’ll fjix my broken heart. Oh, and get the legs for our bathroom vanity.


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